Single….Married…..In an “Ationship”?

I consider myself a varsity player in the game of singles, unlike Meg, who is just beginning her adventure. Although, I will say, she is making her mark and learning at a rapid pace! I have not had an official boyfriend in about 2 years. Thus being said, I have been single in the omnipresent days of social media. Because I am so seasoned, I have had what I like to call a series of “Ationships”.

 The TextAtionship

Photo Cred: @EliteDaily

The TextAtionship is the most common and ever so daunting of the “Ationships”. This involves the textnificant other sending you daily texts. The texts usually consist of “Good morning, what are you doing?”  “How is work?”  <insert beautiful at the end, if you’re lucky>. If there is a “What are you doing tonight?” text, chances are it’s at 8pm on a Friday night and consider it a pity/keeping tabs on you text! There are no texts entailing actual REAL LIFE plans. So what is the point of the Textationship? There isn’t one. You are basically filling a void. The textnificant other is either in a long distance relationship and is bored, or is in a limbo phase with his ex, and is most likely getting back with her. He’s not cheating right?

 The SextAtionship

The SextAtionship is a branch off of the TextAtionship. This involves the dick-pic and other explicit pictures/words. You may or may not have had a real life sexual encounter. If there was real life fornication, chances are it will not be regular now that you are sexting. To the male species, sexts suffice as a form of pornography and therefore, are satisfying. Women are most like not satisfied, and your sexts are immediately screenshot and sent to all their single friends. You’re not missing out with this one. Let’s face it the Sexter is not someone you want to bring to thanksgiving dinner.

 The SnapAtionship

The SnapAtionship is a step below the TextAtionship. You may be snap BFF’s, even have a smiling emoji next to this person’s name. He snaps you selective snaps of being outdoorsy, cooking, drinking a beer. He is the first to watch your story and even sparks up snap convos. This person wants you to know they are still there, but they do not want to leave ANY evidence. Snapchat is an excellent outlet for not leaving footprints, hence, no screenshotting, deletes after 24 hours, no replaying, etc. The SnapAtionship is most likely an ex-fling, still letting him be known.

 The FaceAtionship

The FaceAtionship is pretty self-explanatory and the most virtuous because it can be seen by all. Your profile picture is liked by this person and you secret message from time to time. This person could be a mutual friend or most likely lives in another state, making him an unrealistic chance at love.

 The InstAtionship

Photo Cred:  @BETCHES

The InstAtionship is very likely to be crossed over with a previously mentioned “Ationship”. Pictures are liked but only select pictures. Selfies, an occasional travel pic, and clubbing with the girlfriends are most common. There is no liking of family pics or a pic with your gay BFF. My personal favorite is when your significant follower dates back 135 weeks and likes that one IG selfie in your little black dress. The InstAtionship may be with someone who you don’t know and will possibly never meet!

 Reflecting on all my Ationships, I realize that I do feed into this frenzy, even though I am aware that they all boil down to the simple philosophy; he’s just not that into me.  Do I like the attention? Maybe a little, who doesn’t? It’s exciting and somewhat satisfying to check your phone and see all sorts of notifications from potentials or ex-potentials.  Dating must have been so simple prior to this day and age of social media apps. All I can do now is know the boundaries and not set my expectations too high!